Dear bloggers and creative entrepreneurs, I came to the realization that we have a lot in common with drunk people. Here are just a few of our common traits:
1. We forget stuff extremely quickly.
Bloggers: We forget to do things such as eat lunch. Right after we finished making lunch. Because, you know . . . our blogs.
Drunk people: Will forget the end of their sentence, mid-sentence. And where they put their wallet. And their phone.
2. We have ridiculous ideas that seem really epic at the time.
Bloggers: You know, like writing about how bloggers are like drunk people. Or launching those two other blogs we’re so passionate about that we have negative amounts of time and energy for.
Drunk people: Things such as serenading you from afar, challenging the Dwight Howard sized man at the bar to a fight, or simply dancing, really horribly.
3. We try to keep the party going way past our bedtime.
Bloggers: I know you feel like you can crank that post out at 3 a.m., but let’s be honest, sometimes your delirious blog posts are the equivalent of drunk texting your ex. You’re better than that.
Drunk people: Go home drunk people, you’re drunk.
4. Our emotions change in an instant.
Bloggers: “Aww, no one commented on my post today. Maaan! No one loves me. Life is horrible . . . ooh look, Holly B. just repinned my pin. All is right with the world!”
Drunk people: “You know . . . [tears] . . . it’s like, I gave that girl my whole heart and she ripped the very fiber of my being into tiny shreds . . . she left just a shadow of a man . . . [as a pretty girl walks by and he turns on his Joey Tribbiani voice] . . . How you doooin’?”
5. We seek out other people in our situation to talk to.
Bloggers: We gather online and at conferences to talk to the only other people in the world that “get it.” We need advice, a friend, or we need to feel useful as a mentor. We just have to connect with other bloggers.
Drunk people: Always seem to find the other drunk person in the room and dive into a “meaning of life” type thing.
6. We move around like ninjas.
Bloggers: We’re commenting on a blog one minute, writing a post the next, shouting out people on Twitter a second later, then blasting our email list, and finally taking a selfie or gluten-free meal pic. We repeat this cycle 73 times. Each hour.
Drunk people: Have you ever lost a drunk person? I definitely have. I know I’m your designated driver and all, but you were running some disappearing drills, and, well . . .
7. Our abilities are a bit exaggerated in our minds.
Bloggers: This takes the form of us trying to do way too much. Don’t act like you’ve never planned to write two blog posts, create some original pins, write a guest post, and do some client design work all in one day. Because you have.
Drunk people: Umm, dancing, drinking responsibly, putting the mack down (people still say that, right?) —> you’re bad at all of it. But you think you’re awesome.
8. We do some emotionally unhealthy stuff.
Bloggers: Like when you take on a project you shouldn’t, or you subject yourself to a freelance client that is not a good fit for you. Pretty much anything that drains the creativity out of us. Also, things like comparing ourselves to other bloggers. Le NO! Stop that.
Drunk people: Not remembering why they broke up with that one guy, and in a moment of drunkenness, rekindling a bad idea.
9. We think we have epic social skills.
Bloggers: As bloggers, we can sometimes feel we dominate online social circles (because afterall, we “do social media” so much better than the simpletons). We’re charming on Twitter, we make each other laugh, we have good relationships, and then . . . we get around real people in real life who don’t blog and we have to use a whole different set of social skills. You mean there are actual people out there who don’t want to talk about business, creative passions, or blogging? Who are you people and can you leave now?
Drunk people: Your friend may remember a version of his drunken night where he was the life of the party and was always saying the funniest things. In reality, he was either embarrassingly loud, socially awkward, acting like Carlton Banks, or some psycho combination of all three. In summary, he was not cool.
Anything I missed?
Please feel free to tweet this to all the bloggers and drunk people you know.
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